Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Canada

Cyclists from all over the area have begun unloading their bikes to unsuspecting suckers as the rains continue to fall. Where the Lance Armstrongs and Landises once stood tall, there arises a new-found rank of stars with names like Kate Ziegler, Duje Draganja, and Cullen Jones.

Out is the Tour De France, in is the Speedo Spectacular.

Local cyclist, whom we will call "Charlie", was recently overheard sadly muttering the words, "This depressing and endless rain has made me reconsider the sport of cycling here in Chico, after 35 years of riding. I have now decided to switch to another sport (undecided as yet) and hence will put all three of my road bikes up for sale."