Trellis Restaurant, Menlo Park

I should start by admitting my experience was limited in that I shared one dessert and an a Italian coffee with a friend, but boy, were they both terrible. I got the apple cake with ricotta which seemed like something scooped out of a tray by a high school lunch lady. The apples tasted slightly rotten and the sauce/paste that surrounded the apples was bland and unpleasant. While I'm sure they do other things better, this was very definitely the worst dessert I've ever had. I also got a $7.50 Italian coffee which I figured must take pretty great if it cost more than the dessert. The first few sips were OK, but by the time the Amaretto syrup settled it was literally undrinkable. It had a terrible syrupy taste and the remaining $5 worth of coffee ended up in planter when the waiter wasn't looking. The rooftop patio was very nice though.

Their rooftop patio is lovely, but their veal parmesan is miraculous! One bite of that pre-masticated, brown and flavorless meat with mushy breading and burnt cheese, and I was instantly teleported back to my high school cafeteria. Back then (1989) a plate of veal parm only cost me 70 cents. Now it costs $18. But unfortunately there's a snag. When I was in high school, getting served was as easy as walking through the line. The master chefs at Trellis take a solid hour conjuring that entree from 1989, and then a bus boy delivers it to you. You only see your actual waiter twice...once when he takes your order, and once when you stomp downstairs two hours later to demand your check for the second or third time.