A sham
By A Yahoo! Contributor, 9/25/07
When dining in a romantic setting is the only recommendation.
If a restaurant serves good as well as bad food, do you give it the benefit of the doubt? I wouldn't do that with a four-star restaurant so why should I do it here? Especially when most of the dishes I've tried at One if by Land are simply unpalatable.
One if by Land is actually two restaurants: the main dining room on the ground floor with views over a jewel box garden, and ‘little Siberia’, a low ceiling second floor chicken shack.
A mushroom tart arrived as an unabashed copy of Michel Bras’, the only distinction being the adjunction of truffled cheese. How original.
There was a Hawaiian tuna with miso dressing. The texture was scary unless you were board-certified in cosmetic surgery. The flavors, however, reminded me of the little containers you can get on a discounted Korean Airlines flight at meal time; all at once it's sickly sweet, overtly salty, slippery and bitter.
A generous chock of meat floating in a pool of coagulated ‘wine’ sauce landed with a thud in front of me. I was informed it was my beef Wellington. I was intrigued: last time anyone had beef Wellington in my family, Roosevelt was president. That’s Theodore. The beef was rubbery and tasteless. I scraped the whole wretched garnish to one side. Bordelaise sauce appropriated its name fraudulently, it’s more like a gravy.
I couldn't help but think at this price I could be dining at the Little Owl.
Roasted (?) filets of wild striped bass showed curiously dry on the edges. It was garnished with black olive tapenade, confit tomatoes, golden raisin couscous (a much tarnished word these days). Nothing to write home about, it's not great but passable, except for the high acidity of some of the ingredients.
My date was wavering between a chocolate dessert and a coconut bavarois (mispelled with an e at the end) and being the gentleman that I am, I offered to order the bavarois if she chose the chocolate dessert.
The ubiquitous molten chocolate dessert is also a Michel Bras rip-off. Bras was making these 15 years ago.
The bavarois was a quivering blob of gelatine. Texturally, it brings to mind the sugary equal of a slouched bag of silicone.
The menu isn't held back by minor glitches; it's flawed in concept and execution. And at $75 a piece, it’s a major problem.
The service is rushed, the waiters and runners appear at the table panting like dogs after a long chase. I was not informed of any special, received no description of the menu or the courses. This restaurant clearly lives on its image of romance and glitter.
In a city where romantic dining has improved out of sight in recent years, One if by Land is a bleak spot on the culinary landscape.