Caledonia Farm-1812, Flint Hill

We read these reviews after booking our honeymoon at Caledonia Farm. We were pleasantly surprised to discover Phil to be personable, knowledgable and ever ready to make suggestions to add to our fun and discovery of the area. The converted summer kitchen was a marvel! You have to remember that it is a converted 19th century structure and has some shortcomings--like a miniscule bathroom--but we had fun discovering all the little nooks & crannies that were used to extend comfort to the renovated structure. Phil is extremely proud of his train setup--and rightly so. It too is a marvel! However, he only shows it if asked. If you ask, though, be prepared to stay for the hour tour. He likes to show the entire setup which takes that long! If you are a train buff--this is a must see! We especially enjoyed the private breakfast setup--unusual at a B&B. We plan to return for our first anniversary.

Unfortunately, I found the previous review well after I booked a night’s stay at this charming B&B. Steeling ourselves for the worst, my wife and I took the plunge. “Looks good so far,” I thought as I parked the car and made my way to the main house. As the door swung open to greet our arrival, I was surprised to see the man inside was not the besmocked innkeeper with platter of pastries I’d seen on the homepage. In place of apron and croissants were lumberjack shirt, tractor cap and a small bowl of peanuts and stale pretzel nuggets. I soon recognized the familiar announcer’s voice from my prior phone reservation. This was obviously Phil, our host, who promptly pointed out I was late. “Welcome to Caledonia Farm. We begin each stay here with a drink,” he said. Having spent two hours in Memorial Day traffic jams, my thoughts turned to cold beer. My hopes were soon dashed when he followed, “I have Fresca, or if you prefer, an orange punch that many people seem to enjoy.” We opted for the punch, a mysterious orange liquid tasting vaguely of Tang. We then proceeded to our breakfast order. Eggs Benedict is his signature dish – you may not get it. My wife ordered it, I did not. So he complained about making hollandaise sauce for one order, and she settled for scrambled eggs. Ultimately, breakfast wasn’t that bad; but forgo coffee. It’s not exactly Juan Valdez material. Tipped off by the kind soul who wrote the first interview, I declined the “nickel tour.” He was similarly offended, noting “most people are interested in knowing the history of Caledonia Farm.” We were then shown to the Bridal Suite. Based on the timing of the last upgrades, and the Weber grill aroma that permeated the room, it was not befitting the consummation of a shotgun wedding couple. Our “free snacks” consisted of the same fare mentioned in the previous post, only the average expiration date was one year past due instead of two. I guess someone got drunk and ate the others. Beverages consisted of a single can each of Diet Coke, Diet Mountain Dew and something called Zazz. Sleeping was no joy either. The mattress is quite worn. And if it gets a bit warm a night, don’t rely on the air conditioner. It blows stale, warm air around the room. But the pièce de résistance is the bathroom. It was infested with ants. And if you happen to leave any toiletries at home, don’t worry, there’s plenty in the medicine cabinet – from people who left theirs at Caledonia Farm. Look out for the bottle that has the Cro-Magnon hair stuck in the bottle cap. Forgot your roll-on? No worries. They’ve got some lefties of that too. That’s okay, I think I’ll live with a little B.O. until I make it back to civilization.