Nice grounds, awful everything else
I'm a world traveler of 5-star hotels from Abu Dhabi to Tokyo. This place has very pretty common areas - and that's where the good news stops. The rooms are inexcusably 2-star, dank, smelly air and water, with 1980s amenties (no flat screen TV, no satellite, no internet connections, no iPod docking), a true Motel 6 quality bathroom. Hotel was filled with 24/7 loud, power wasted, double-fisted (plastic surgery addicted) drunks...at BREAKFAST..who came for the free booze, which was also disgusting. The free drink options were extermely limited to mostly well brands and bad tasting watered down mixes. Served in plastic tiny cups from the 70s. No wine was worth drinking at all, at any restaurant. The food was inedible, xcpt for the decent gourmet breakfast buffet. The "Mexican" restaurant was hardly. The sushi place looked very nice, but was supermarket pre-made junk. The food was obviously re-used from one joint to the next. The pool - the chairs were cheap plastic backyard quality topped with stained, very hot vinyl seats that nobody could put their feet on. Towel Nazis limit you to one each, and they were old, scratchy, thin towels. The "entertainment" was blaring loudspeakers of cheesy cruiseship bingo or tequila vollyball that nobody joined in with, with just a little unremarkable music. The tennis court has a 1 foot warp right down the middle, and is cracked everywhere. The nightly stage shows were a joke, worse than the worst cruise ship show you can imagine.. The overall experience was truly disappointing given the mostly excellent service, extremely nice staff, and obvious attention to the beautifully manicured grounds along the ocean. If only a sliver of the law mowing budget went into renovating the rooms to the 21st century, finding decent food, stocking a full bar and wine cellar, a modern coffee bar, gym, spa...well, you get what you pay for.