We booked our trip to the Royal Lahaina through Priceline who rated it a 3-Star, the highest on their list, which purportedly includes the likes of Hyatt, Hilton, Embassy Suites. Upon our arrival, the grounds appeared quite beautiful, but contained scattered "cottages" in addition to the main hotel. We quickly learned the hotel did not offer valet service and that we would be forced to self-park in a lot with the smallest parking stalls I have ever seen (I almost had to climb out the window to exit, I'm only 165 lbs). Our rental car was hit in the lot on the second night of our stay, obviously by a Luau reveler who was leaving and could not navigate the small spaces.
Our room was in one of the scattered cottages (5-plex), far from the beach. Due to a lack of privacy, we kept our slider door curtains closed the entire time and were unable to open the wooden tongue and groove shutters because they served as both a window and a shade (opening them let in the hot air). Since the fluorescent type lighting in the room did not work intermittently, the lack of outside light was annoying. The shutters also did not block outside noises (see below).
The room was very outdated and contained the following amenities: stained carpet, broken tiles in bathroom, black mold in grout, chipped ceiling paint hanging down, dryrot in baseboard in bathroom, portable wall unit A/C (e.g. Motel 6) that was very noisy and did not adequately cool the room, glass closet door sliders that fell off the tracks on first try, etc. Sleeping past 5 am was made impossible, first by sprinklers, then by birds, then by mowers and trimming (all before 7 am). There was only one ice machine for all the cottages, about 400 feet away near the main hotel.
The hotel tacked on various petty charges that are not inherent in a quality resort (i.e. $3.50 for use of in-room coffee, $3.75 for use of safe, etc.). We were unable to order pool side food to watch the 6:30 p.m. sunset without going inside and ordering "to go", luckily we asked because the pool waitress advised we couldn't get any food by the pool at that time, and certainly did not offer to obtain it for us. The food was adequate, but nothing more.
On our last morning, a very large cockroach ran from under the bed and had to be pursued and terminated. I have pictures.
Certainly, my wife and I did not expect the Ritz Carleton. On the other hand, our room would have been a much better fit at a Motel 6, Economy 8, etc. It was certainly unlike any Hyatt, Hilton or Embassy Suites I have ever seen.